Didn't Happen 10x Years Ago

I rather heroically resisted the perfectly natural
tantrumic urges of an ageing anarchy enthusiast
to find both your addresses on that
team document we used for the event planning

Check when you were both on annual leave
and travel to Walthamstow, how fortunate it was
you lived in the same - predictable and
actually quite affordable for its distance from the
centre of town - area using a burner travelcard
having researched access points on streetview
note to self: delete all browsing history

And torch not torch
smear not smear
maybe lob or chuck perhaps a brick
at the very least a hefty stone
through a window front or back I'm not even fussy

Certainly arson would not be committed
splashed paint might send a message
no one mentioned a dirty protest, grow up
at the very least a can of soup
is causing a soupy doorstep even a crime?

But the important thing to bear in mind is that
none of this happened
restraint was exercised
fantasies (perfectly healthy ones) remained locked
away, unacted upon and
no one learned a goddamn thing

Team meeting 2003 (another one where he remembers things from a long time ago)

'Guys it's a lovely sunny afternoon
let's have our team meeting in the pub'
she was the coolest boss sorry supervisor
ever in many people's opinions mainly her own

So the five of us traipsed up the road
some more jauntlier (check
later) than others, and then she
announced we need to set quarterly goals
    and write a mission statement
    to share on the intranet
    after which we could
    have a proper drink

We're the only people in the pub as
the hairy fellow behind the bar cranks up
the music, which Lee recognises (of course
he does rolls eyes) as the recently released
    15 minute epic Babe, I'm on Fire
    by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

It's relentless and gets louder and louder
until our leader cracks
WHAT IS THIS SHIT! I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF THINK!
storms over to the barman and demands
that he ends this torment

Lee is sniggering like Muttley, so
unprofessional, while it appears
two of his teammates have tears in
their eyes. Jeremy is furrowed of brow
focussing on the precise wording of the
mission statement, because someone has to

Wigdome

Throw your clothes down the mountain
okay maybe not all your clothes
retain some modesty lest ye become arrested
prosecuted and persecuted, we're not
looking to become a martyr

But bury your past, it really is the
smartest option, spilling it
just keeps the quacks in their high chairs

And lose the attitude, please
even if it means stop being so much
of your 'authentic self'
the social armour must be discarded
scrub away your harsh layers

Shed the shed
can the can
reject the rejects, and
scrap the scrappers

Convert all your physical media
all the books and all the records of your lifetime
and toss em in a skip (UK)
or hold a garage sale (US)

Abandon, not all hope, but expectation
             he's getting deep, and a little
             holier-than-thou preachy
             yes it's rather sickening

             Easy to say throw your shoes in the lake
             sure I'll torch my car while I'm at it

             But will he ditch the high cholesterol lifestyle
             has he sold off his stocks, dispersed his gains and
             does he wander the urban desert clad in a loincloth

             Or is he snug, plump and smug in his mansion
             talking to shadows on the wall
             gesticulating impotently via the medium

You misunderstand as ever
you wilfully misunderstand

Just looking to simplify
remove all obstacles, pare it down
to whatever it is
we need to get by

Is it normal to hear your own voice in your head all the time?

Every few years it resurfaces
and when it last came up in the office

Who had an inner monologue
and who manages quite well without one thanks
there was much incredulity on all sides

Tim did of course he did 'it's sickening, relentless,
      I want to tell myself to shut up'

Alex was more nuanced 'there's a constant voice
      but it's not what I'd call me'

Someone likened theirs to a child
      another to a father

Lee, have a guess, land of 1000 dances,
      a rage of angels
      jabber jabber hey

Then Ffion has nothing, no voice,
and she's the calmest, wisest of us all
     never known to show stress

Ross shook his head 'there's nothing
     going on in here guys'
     and Ross is the boss

In conclusion, it would 
be wrong to draw a
hasty conclusion

       Talk amongst yourselves

You've Gotta Lot (Saturday Night improv.)

But what have you not is
wheels on your soles of your shoes
not shoes toes (and heels) like me
slaloming along the hallways and mallways
humming my songs stimming my hands
through your missing fingers

While wearing the glum smile of one who
who cannot operate the stop button
so just keeps yelling louder like
it was always meant to be this way
and not the victim of
invasive arthroplastic prosthetics
following a catastrophic escalation of
double or quit, truth or dare games

So now I'm rolling rolling veering
having trouble steering
crashing into pillars
staying clear of windows
there are no brakes is what I'm trying to say

On the plus side I'm taller
and faster, and am making some loot
as in raking it in
from the foot
fetishist
fraternity

Pie Crusts

Some days are for consolidation
some days are for transformation

You cannot hide your vestigial tail
your belly is pot
your jelly is hot
stumped cut off salamander trail

I am the secretary of my sensations
my magic is my weakness
you must invite me across your threshold

It's pretty uh hardcore
only four miles from your house
say it's semi mediaeval, but
great stuff for the launch pad, and
something about the bleakness, the
overbearing concrete structures

Some of the evenings may require consolation
some of those nights end in devastation

Lies are exotic, and the truth
the truth is pretty basic

The Explanatory Gap

The concept of "brain exhaust gas"
is not a scientifically recognized term
and yet here we are

Consciousness as a byproduct of entropy

Now, I don't know what that means
but it doesn't make it untrue

Water vapor, carbon dioxide, nitrogen

Make a song of it
shout about it with your voice
an exhaust gas in its own right
a reedy tenor, a monotonous drawl

        Interaction - Innovation
        Automatic control system!

Unpredictable patterns, meet
basic functions, team up and
see what happens

Chaotic activity, art and religion

Trace amounts of oxygen, carbon monoxide

Other key components:
        communication,
        play and the use of tools

There are five levels, one primal
two reactive three wilful
four intellectual and five intuitive

Try again, one distracted two dull
three partially focused four one-pointed
and five completely controlled

Keep going chief, you've got another
five choices - one full two minimal
three confused four vegetative
and five coma

        Interaction - Innovation
        Automatic control system!

But now I can reveal
levels six to ten which
anticipate, combine and perfect the
different systems, as revealed to me by

[[message terminated]]

Something On Your Mind

It's not mine any more (and that's ((supposed to be)) OK)

        But I like it
        a really cool lady
        qualities, all of legendary greats

If this song is played at my funeral
her voice is a razor for my heart
today was an awful day for me
Dylan recalls her in Chronicle
her vocals gives me chills
I think she's quite rubbish
she had a big gray tabby
everything is so good now, thank you honey
want this at my wake and people can go WhoTF is this
sounds better in 4:3 aspect

        This is not just a peach
        it is a master peach

 <<wikipedia paste>>

Don't be alarmed as I would surely
see her around the Village in the 60s
her voice is adorable but so filled with trouble
sit up and listen, clap, and then lay back down
watch it through your rearview mirror
I feel the edges of the ocean
it makes your ribs sore
la voz de Karen entra directamente en todos las células de cuerpo
as you drive through an empty desert highway to nowhere
leaves you feel hollowed out afterwards
Cody Nofton and the Smack Gypsies. Classic
tugging at the rocks of the land
superbe chanson! J'avais acheté le SP début des 70s
my car song for many years now
available in my country
absurdamente incrível ❤️
goosebumbs all over!

        I hear every broken heart bleeding into the sea
        and all the hope of the world
        crying for a fortune that it can never find

<<trauma dump>>

Heard it over the end credits on BBC series The Serpent
              at the end of the movie Birthmarked
           on an episode of Amazon's Transparent
        Netflix movie Something from Tiffany's
    Serge from Kasabian sent me here
          this is the "American high" of the early 1960s
               the movie Greenberg brought me here
                    I am watching the episode of The Umbrella Academy...
         learning of this song through Angel Olsen
     Gone in the Night brought me here
during end credits of "Rumble: the Indians who rocked the world"
         song was used in Gunpowder Milkshake
                who is here because of Mayans MC?
                     I am here thanks to Xfactor Italy 2024!
              came here because of 'I am not okay with this'
       the end credits of "Margot at the Wedding"
Apple TV Shantaram brought me here

        She was our roommate
        for a few years
        when I was a kid
        back in the early 80s

Missed Connection, Old West

running with my sack for the last coach
I accept a firm hand up and hop on board
she hugs me safe you made it
we swap names for what it's worth and
Vanessa Woodward
points me towards the seating slash hanging system

12 net hammocks evenly spaced, I take no.6
underneath someone I realise I know very well
Catrin Armstrong
we swap notes about Uruguay
it's been 25 years but the
distance passes like wind like water
in the way of old friends

some of other occupants begin to mumble
Vanessa Woodward
looks daggers, we'd barely exchanged ten words
I whisper we had a thing and jerk my head towards
Catrin Armstrong abunk of me
'oh a thing, was it the greatest thing?'

I think long and hard for a full half second
'yes it really was the greatest thing'
Catrin Armstrong adds 'top ten for me'
someone wolf whistles, charmlessly
another woop woops, sarcastically
this is not a private space

'well if I had a lettuce' exclaims a tattooed oilman
and they all join in
'yeah if I had a lettuce' but I don't know that song
this continues for several verses until bless her
Vanessa Woodward
yells 'silence!' and she is obeyed

she holds some sway and
I like her sway but the gravitational pull of
Catrin Armstrong
slams me back to the time
we were too luscious to be true and
sadly, a revolting display ensues

the passing of the years has not been
kind to either of us
Catrin Armstrong
proves to be hard of sight and short of hearing
and me to give me his full name

Lee Holloway Towers (1859-1941)
with turkeyneck and bulbous nose
'oh my Catrin Armstrong we're not so luscious now'
I whisper fwiw which means I wish
we were back in La Pulperia when
youth and hope were on our side not here
wilting on the hammock express

Ghosts of the Lone Star Stretch

The afterlife - which is really not the correct term
but it's the closest concept you might comprehend -
if you are lucky is a never-
ending drive through the night the desert specifically
resembling the southern states I hate to go all Eagles
but it's a dark desert highway if you will
even though I'd prefer not to

There is music playing forever on the FM
like some GTA station 50% your time life favourites
and 50% surprises and new delights you never knew you knew
pls appreciate this is a bespoke gift
your unholy loneliness dampened by the musik and the motorik
smoothed out, like you're back in your rocking cot

It's all ebb and flow, sometimes you snooze and
cruise control takes over, the comforting hum of a
mechanised eternity, talking of which
how long do you think we can hold out

With no other people who were let's
face it the major obstacle in your earthbound
plus it's not like you're craving
to see any familiar faces,
and famous ones are blocked

Yes they can be bardo-duped but that's not for
entities from the lower leagues
be grateful you get to drive, licence or not,
at excessive speeds, into a consistent horizon
as the infinite firmament twinkles above

To leave the road and veer into cactus clump,
gulch or unforbidding mountain range ist verboten
please respect the system, and

You'll find time is no longer a linear,
measurable dimension, and memory retention
is a limited phenomenon

The rush of tyres upon tarmac, warm breezes
piney aromas, and whatever is mesquite,
your arm resting on the open window
smoke a cigar for once in your so-called life,
it can't hurt now

There's a fifth of whiskey
on the passenger seat,
and we're sorry
there is no passenger
this time around

Look! lights from another vehicle
high upon a pass, and lo!
smoke from a cabin in the distance
do they share this liminal carnation
briefly, am I the NPC? then pfft

Semi-formed observations come and go
disparu behind the 100mph backdraft
gas station, diner, one horse town
Steely Dan, The Doors, Creedence

I saw this in a movie and it will
become my post-reality, as soon as
I submit a request to the committee

Tu n'es pas encore prêt

We got off the bus with a few
other locals and tourists
in our athleisure wear
ready for our Saturday morning courir dans le parc
excited to take part in a new country

We passed some private planes and I saw
the Aérodrome sign which formed the course

Five minutes from the start and as usual
I need the facilities, follow some others
heading into the low brick
building next to the bag drop area

It's dismal in there but I make out
symbols for ladies and gents
head to the right and push through the door

Dim yellow lights, stink of bleach
make out long rows of beds home to
writhing and moaning figures
before a huge orderly shouts at me
waves a fist, shoves me in the back
through the door into the reception

It's one minute to nine
and on the way out see a sign reading
'St Roch Maison des Invalides'
and beneath it some small print

Regrets, I've had

A few of us were going swimming
in a sinkhole
cenote if you prefer

Older and larger than the others
I made my excuses, concentrated on
taking photos and
avoided stripping off while

Stuart and Amy
Seo-Jun and Marcus
dove or is it just dived in
frolicking among the turquoise
laughter echoing

I was far from home and couldn't
see the bottom any more
it all seemed too sharp, and wet

Lorem Ipsum

is it placeholder or place holder
a placeholder is a dash that holds the content
my ex used me as a placeholder
my singing monsters placeholder
was i just a placeholder to fill the hole inside you

placeholder -
                in the bible
                in the field
                in the calendar
                in italiano

am i a placeholder for him
am i a placeholder for her
placeholder vs dream girl
placeholder vs stakeholder
placeholder in python {}

placeholder -
                business meeting
                engagement ring
                disney cruise
                east of england

Tower Birds

Hungry birds may build their towers with any material including
but not limited to chicken bones, soup cans and eggshells

Pirate birds create towers with junkyard pottery, garagesale electronics

Metal birds gather anti-bird spikes as a pre-emptive strike

Hobnob berds use mud, spit and cardboard and may the fat emperor bless them

Juneville birds make their towers from baby wawa, soft shoes and cake bubbles

Cunning snappy burds use twig lets, doll hair and snake skin

Big billy b-birds collect spider silk, lichen, and milk bottle tops

There really is no one true way to go about the building of a tower

Even if it collapses in a night puff, you just write
make it new on your bath tub and begin all over again

Unlipogrammatic

The words, they flow, a river in my head,
But o  this page, a crippled stream they e d.
That little ' ' key, a villai true,
Defyi g se se, obstructi g every verse.
I feel the lack, the missi g piece, a hole
That eats the heart of every li e I form.
How ca I speak of wi ter's icy grip,
Or mea i g, truth, or hope, or a ythi g more,
Whe ' ' is hidde , locked away from me?
The struggle is real, the frustratio  kee .

Now, two things are happening here:
  the 'n' key on my computer has stuck
  thus, I'm stop-starting, pasting each
  instance of 'n' into words which is, as you
  might imagine, somewhat trying

In addition to which an impending sickness
Overwhelms me, lending a powerful urge to sleep

One might say... [clears throat]
The night presses down like a velvet tomb [coughs]
And shadows dance in sempiternal gloom [expires]

A Punk Rock Hollyoaks for the TikTok Generation

 I've never seen it and I never will

'We're supposed to have each other's back'
The defining moment was when we became Team Cauliflower

'I just want to forget'
You can never go back, you will never forget

'I'm your twin, I deserve to know the truth'
We were different countries but twin towns

I've never seen it and I never will

'I can make all your dreams come true'
Completely accurate if only I was a different person

'This is the biggest thing anyone's ever done for me'
No one has ever done anything for me that didn't serve their hidden agenda

'I want one thing in return'
I want nothing in return but pure annihilation

I've never seen it and I never will

Correction, I saw it once in hospital
I couldn't change the channel, it was
worse than the 206 broken bones
caused by falling off the Peanut Trolley

Bouncing off concrete, slipping on marble
Suffering a concussion of the impossible

I've never seen it and I never will

A pounding heart and a feeling of weightlessness

The normal thing the regular routine is
you go up the end of the road there are all
the low-rent shops (some say stores) offering
vapes, haircuts, mid-price groceries,
bicycle repairs (a suspiciously new hipster outlet)

The useless betting shop and the useless pharmacy
dry cleaners OKOKOK you get the picture
don't need to name them all

On the way back the road curves upwards
and I always because why wouldn't you
take the low swing around and then it's a short
walk home but recently for a change
a novelty, don't we crave a novelty
anything to make the familiar peculiar
that's what she said no but really
I'm being serious here

I took the higher level where
you climb the steps up towards the entrance
to Colossus Heights, the surprisingly
well-behaved high rise but since you don't
live there you'll need to cut round
and find the route down

All this with my bag for life
- batteries, tuna, bleach - that sort of thing
sometimes I must admit I only go
up the road for the social interaction, and
this was a far more vertical clamber than I expected as

I recollected steep climbs I have known in Exmouth, Durham

Saw 140bpm at the top there was a very narrow way down

Talk about the eye of the needle

I squeezed my frame between the curved iron restraints

There were no steps but

A single–rail roller coaster

And yes I noticed some rust but

I sat on the one-seat swing
steadied the plastic bag between
my legs, I'd bought an avocado too
should have mentioned it earlier,
a most nutritious snack with peanut butter

I had nothing to lose except
my avocado so carefree launched
my ageing skeleton down the track
as it set off the bells and whistles
maybe there were lasers too

I could have been the first passenger for decades
for all you know, you
doubters, scoffers, ne'er-do-wells

The whizzing was a delight
left and right, up and down
a carnival of exhilaration as
I exclaimed OOoh Ooooh Oooh! just like that

Like a pinball lighting up new dimensions
racking up all-time dopamine high scores 

The dizzy downward dance felt like hours
although only a brief candle, still
I solemnly thought I will take this to my grave
bouncing on vital heels
the last few steps back to my pit

He was clearly dead

 (i)

They talked about
bashing the door in, but
they got a ladder and began to climb up
onto the balcony, looked
in through the window

And they saw
        he was clearly dead

In front of his television
        on his sofa

It's what he would have wanted
        to die privately

To die watching the television

(ii)

20 years later, I went for a haircut
at a quiet place I found
        on a long walk after work

The ageing barber, trying to make
conversation (I don't encourage it)
said Oh yes, I've had some big names in here

They used to come down from
        the Television Centre

{long pause} 

Benny Hill

    I used to cut his hair

        lovely gentleman

            course...

                 he hasn't been in for a long time

True Story

People always ask me what was your best catch
I say that time in the parking lot when I was walking
toward the car with my back to Jimmy and I hear him yell

'Hey Lee catch!' and I know he's not kidding
he both can/cannot be trusted
so I snap around real fast
and track a shape coming towards me take
half a step stick out my hand low and right
slap into my palm, pure instinct and

I've caught this baseball just before it was gonna hit the
rear lights on the car
               Mikey's car
JFK Terminal 4 after our flight
where Mikey'd kindly come to pick us up
and I'm like Jimmy man, what if that had smashed
his ****ing lights man?! are you crazy
but I knew the answer to that already

Jimmy thought of himself
as the challenging Cato
to my bumbling Clouseau
(one for the teenagers)

And where the hell did this baseball come from?
Jimmy'd spotted it in the gutter and picked it up,
bent out of shape, thinks/didn't think
I know what my sporty friend would like
now we're here in the ****ing USA

'Hey Lee catch!' and god damn if
Lee didn't spin around and snatch it out of nowhere
like a champ and 40 years later
he's still talking about it

Even though he used to play cricket
like a pretend English gentleman and
took plenty of catches in his time

Mikey sighed: Come on guys
you haven't even been here five minutes yet
but we knew he loved it, Jimmy
and Lee were back to light up his life

It's not jazz

    squealing plastic saxophone
Miles said he was all screwed up inside
        playing the same note but differently

organized disorganization
    make mistakes and get on it
Roach punched him in the mouth
        an affront, an insult

        busted up in Baton Rouge
whinny like a horse, bray like a donkey
    be right in your own world
    did he let go of melody and harmony
and deep down, did he know what he was doing

        a mournful cry in the dark
like a person laughing and crying
        tomorrow is the question
    he's jiving, incoherent
        and he set a lot of people free
never was a fan of his violin playing

Bobbing

Bobbing in the ocean

placid waters

salty and buoyant

happy to float away

focus on the breath

as the water

temperature matches my body

lending a liquid peace

Lost sight of land

but we can always swim back

this way or that

out of shouting distance but

there's no one to contact and

yes the sun is sinking

After the Conflagration

January
Bicycle in a ditch, charred

February
Motorbike in a canyon, rusted

March
Beyond repair, will never be mended

April
Two skeletons enter a house

May
Trash for future archaeologists

June
Quadbike in a swimming pool, emblematic

July
No eulogies, in memoriam

August
Getaway car in a shallow grave

September
There will be no forensic examination

October
Two corpses walk out, no punchline

November
Seasons pass, unreliable timetable

December
All the sad wheels keep on burning

Photophobia

Writing this in the middle of a silent migraine
        - look it up -
my first one since I was in a field outside Milton Keynes
absolutely no reason for it to happen
but experience told me it would pass
I continued walking, across stiles avoiding cows
flashing lights zigzag lines blind spots check check yes
then 30 minutes later it faded, forgotten until just

Now when something caught my eye and sent the spinning
lights across the fov which stands for field of vision

One has to worry about the underlying cause
of this neurological phenomenon
one also worries about the spelling which can be
tidied up later

Close your eyes, doesn't work
lie in a cool dark room, doesn't work
(dots, sparks, zigzags)

Be patient and it will pass and you will
at least have this timestamped reminder
to read to the doc if another visit is needed

I had a brainscan once but nothing
showed up which is almost
a joke but I only feel funny strange
not haha right now

Migraine aura without headache can be triggered by
stress, hormonal changes, certain foods and drinks

Years ago, I had two at work
needed the medical room, a little pod
like a panic room. What do you mean
your office doesn't have one?

Then cicada years later a bright
light strikes the back of the
eye in a certain unknown state and it's
time for the ding dong farm, and

I thought it would have stopped by now

Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back

I never studied theology and yet
there's no way of knowing you're on your 1000th rerun
thus the house always wins, and
a leakage event would be unbearable
the invisibule (sic) hierarchies would not permit it

Who are we unfortunates
to comprehend the divine bureaucracy
a billion limbic entities
labouring among the ineffable minutiae
almost certainly like the end of The Good Life

But a gnat to an elk & vv what gives
a caterpillar cut off in its prime
a subordinate pigeon or anointed viper
promoted and relegated like West Brom

In primary school
house points were a motivation, the carrot
and also the stick it was a long time ago

Beyond which the holy justice system
doesn't seem to have evolved
but ours as ever is not to ask why just plug away
and pray mere termination follows because
play again (Y/N)?

I tell you what boy, I'm not
standing there waiting for a posthuman appraisal
from some celestial HR gimp
the grand summing up, no I will start
    a riot of my own
                      and back down
                                    the ladder ye will go

The Future is Female

Before the goons arrive
Read it out loud
Require clarification
Look at that haircut
Revolver in hand, TAXI PULLS UP
Smoking by the fireplace
Still muttering about Moscow
I had to pick a side

DOG BARKS, Chewing gum
Ventilator hums
FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS
Is the switch off?
What's our cover story?
This is the moment, don't -
It's all second hand by now
BHM 1478 VGS 758

Telephone embedded in wall
Autumnal cottage fenced off
Slip him a few quid
I know all the tricks

Hello Helly O

I haven't seen you for about six years now since mutual friends
told me you were freelancing in the same building only two floors below
it was a huge place I'd never have known you were there otherwise
I looked you up on the internal system and
there was your name and number, no job title listed
you reluctantly suggested we grab a coffee not lunch together
and you hated it when days later we bumped into each other in the lift

The same person who'd once briskly told me not to bother
elaborating about my recent breakup
  'I just don't have time for it'
I found this honesty quite refreshing
like the time I made an excuse for not being able to attend
your birthday party
  'well have a nice life then' 

It certainly wasn't because you secretly fancied me
there was name redacted who had to suffer in that role

And I hope you respected the fact that I never once certainly not now
ever spoke about your previous top secret role which I did actually just sort of mention

I enjoyed the many times you arrived at social events
made a beeline for me nervous about all the new faces
  'who are all these freaks'
and when we worked on a project together said I'd understand
a certain idea 'because you've got a girl brain'
  'do you mean that as a compliment?'
  'I have no idea, it's just true'

Please indulge me

But I struggle to say the word ******
such a clumsy combination of diphthongs
is that right, check it out later

Why not just say syllables and don't
pretend you're some sort of diphthong lord
you like saying diphthong don't you
almost as much as you hate saying ******
and it's not even the correct term

Also how are you stressing the
con and the dom?
give them equal weight, or go all out on the CON
and then a brief and apologetic dum

        CON CON CON
        dum dum dom

It's a small thing but it popped
into what is left of my mind so
I just had to share it

While we're on the subject, there
is a four letter word beginning with F
that I also can't bear to say
- he's such a delicate child -
and it isn't even ****

"It was hard to read at first"

Recently under a rock or cushion
I found a sticky relic written while semi-woke
vital knowledge scribbled on yellow and
here's what it said:

Discuss Theo, make it clear that I'm home with UNCLEAR only
it's your handwriting for god's sake
I thought we were going to get something out of this
I mean not good when was it any good, but something
I grew up here she UNCLEAR sang says confirmed ok
what the hell does that mean

now? UNCLEAR 510 tree with roots
excuse me
Sky darkness
Go to UNCLEAR [viper rage?] for food - BVM in kettle

Blessed Virgin Mary, I assume but
we're about five years too late

Why Catholics BVM Big J - Culture, like Euro UK Scot
Under breath 'take my wife'! [ancient gag]
Fall deeper - Outsiders

Curry plates left
of course they are, religions have been formed on less
Let's go and see chapel in rain - glitters - entwined

It's an evocative ending, I'll grant you that
and I guess it endured for as long as it deserved

Recovered Memory

My father came back from Moscow
he'd been at a shooting tournament
flew in on a private jet courtesy of
the Olympic Committee

We met him at the airport 1971
he arrived with a friend, call me Uncle Don
I did nothing of the sort, my
uncles were Derek and Jeff

My mother was quite confused
she'd only recently passed her test but
my dad took the wheel, Don up front with him
therestofus squeezed intheback

The guns were in secure cases don't worry
they had all the permits, and it's easier coming
back via Biggin Hill where
I always looked out for the Spitfire

Call me Uncle Don Kazankin took my room,
what was going on, we stopped off in Chislehurst
waited outside a suburban house
'Stop asking questions woman!'

He was in there a long time
like his toilet breaks, which even
my father found excessive

In the car, everyone was smoking up a storm
I mean not my sister and me, she was
playing with her hand puppets
even dined at the table wearing them
drove both my parents mad, at least
they had that in common

'How long's he staying Richard?'
'As long as he bloody well wants to!'

One day he was gone and I returned
to my room which smelled of oil
my desk drawer full of peanut shells and
Uncle Don was never mentioned again

You can try but you can't

Take pictures of birds because simple put
they vibrate too fast

Common reasons are
(1) focusing errors, (2) motion blur, (3) birds aren't real

A blurry photography is known in the trade what trade
the photography trade as a 'birb'

Celebrated pics in such gallery include:

• blerry borb face forwords
• my nephew the pidgeon
• like ship in bottole but wrong
• she spring her head right round right round
• blurborb no. 25
• photo dump of chicken
• Birbirian agents are fast as flock
• meet Zulu berbry, mother of 5
• warp speed into forage bowl
• evaporatined birlb
• little anger muchkin

Yes you can try but you can't
take pictures of birds

Hiring a Jackal

My funds are limitless, my patience is thin
and I'm looking for a jackal

Key requirements: must be
an unparalleled killing machine, must
possess a wide array of inconspicuous
disguises and a custom-made sniper rifle

Key characteristics: elusive, ruthless,
cunning, equally happy working alone
or as part of a team

Be like the Egyptian god Anubis
god of the underworld with the head of a you-know-what
who weighed your soul and
prepared you for the afterlife

Not here to guard the chicken coop
but to rain down ruin and desolation
no cauliflower henchman
dishing out back alley thuggery

We're talking a high-stakes job
minimal chaos, multiple identities
no regrets coyote, and no remorse
from the jackal

This weird star

       bearded and tireless
he might have faked the manuscript

he had no electricity
made his own music as he went along
       had sex with everyone
       was well-versed in how it walks
piety and profanation
my hat's off to him

his unearthly zigzag
just holding on for dear life
isolation and substance abuse
    I do this, I do that
    a messenger of chaos
             a flying horse of wild crab language
             a voracious post-lysergic romantic

what happened to him?

Passing it's passing

Now believe it or not, I'm a
  lousy conversationalist oh
Do you know, I really can believe it

It's not as if you were any happier then it's
  just that you were younger

No, don't turn the air conditioning off
  I like it chilly, keeps me awake

Time passes we watch tv
  this table is filthy
We recall every song ever
  made and it does us no good

I love walking and I feel it's very therapeutic
When I can get out, walk around, I'm very happy
I just enjoy the countryside
  would you like to know my Fitbit record?

 Here he comes now
   a florid man who hates affectation
   a voluptuary digesting the horrors

It's passing away

  Excuse me, I'm passing away
  my last afternoon as myself
  revolting and empty

Has he gone, yes he's gone now