Didn't Happen 10x Years Ago

I rather heroically resisted the perfectly natural
tantrumic urges of an ageing anarchy enthusiast
to find both your addresses on that
team document we used for the event planning

Check when you were both on annual leave
and travel to Walthamstow, how fortunate it was
you lived in the same - predictable and
actually quite affordable for its distance from the
centre of town - area using a burner travelcard
having researched access points on streetview
note to self: delete all browsing history

And torch not torch
smear not smear
maybe lob or chuck perhaps a brick
at the very least a hefty stone
through a window front or back I'm not even fussy

Certainly arson would not be committed
splashed paint might send a message
no one mentioned a dirty protest, grow up
at the very least a can of soup
is causing a soupy doorstep even a crime?

But the important thing to bear in mind is that
none of this happened
restraint was exercised
fantasies (perfectly healthy ones) remained locked
away, unacted upon and
no one learned a goddamn thing

Team meeting 2003 (another one where he remembers things from a long time ago)

'Guys it's a lovely sunny afternoon
let's have our team meeting in the pub'
she was the coolest boss sorry supervisor
ever in many people's opinions mainly her own

So the five of us traipsed up the road
some more jauntlier (check
later) than others, and then she
announced we need to set quarterly goals
    and write a mission statement
    to share on the intranet
    after which we could
    have a proper drink

We're the only people in the pub as
the hairy fellow behind the bar cranks up
the music, which Lee recognises (of course
he does rolls eyes) as the recently released
    15 minute epic Babe, I'm on Fire
    by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

It's relentless and gets louder and louder
until our leader cracks
WHAT IS THIS SHIT! I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF THINK!
storms over to the barman and demands
that he ends this torment

Lee is sniggering like Muttley, so
unprofessional, while it appears
two of his teammates have tears in
their eyes. Jeremy is furrowed of brow
focussing on the precise wording of the
mission statement, because someone has to

Wigdome

Throw your clothes down the mountain
okay maybe not all your clothes
retain some modesty lest ye become arrested
prosecuted and persecuted, we're not
looking to become a martyr

But bury your past, it really is the
smartest option, spilling it
just keeps the quacks in their high chairs

And lose the attitude, please
even if it means stop being so much
of your 'authentic self'
the social armour must be discarded
scrub away your harsh layers

Shed the shed
can the can
reject the rejects, and
scrap the scrappers

Convert all your physical media
all the books and all the records of your lifetime
and toss em in a skip (UK)
or hold a garage sale (US)

Abandon, not all hope, but expectation
             he's getting deep, and a little
             holier-than-thou preachy
             yes it's rather sickening

             Easy to say throw your shoes in the lake
             sure I'll torch my car while I'm at it

             But will he ditch the high cholesterol lifestyle
             has he sold off his stocks, dispersed his gains and
             does he wander the urban desert clad in a loincloth

             Or is he snug, plump and smug in his mansion
             talking to shadows on the wall
             gesticulating impotently via the medium

You misunderstand as ever
you wilfully misunderstand

Just looking to simplify
remove all obstacles, pare it down
to whatever it is
we need to get by

Is it normal to hear your own voice in your head all the time?

Every few years it resurfaces
and when it last came up in the office

Who had an inner monologue
and who manages quite well without one thanks
there was much incredulity on all sides

Tim did of course he did 'it's sickening, relentless,
      I want to tell myself to shut up'

Alex was more nuanced 'there's a constant voice
      but it's not what I'd call me'

Someone likened theirs to a child
      another to a father

Lee, have a guess, land of 1000 dances,
      a rage of angels
      jabber jabber hey

Then Ffion has nothing, no voice,
and she's the calmest, wisest of us all
     never known to show stress

Ross shook his head 'there's nothing
     going on in here guys'
     and Ross is the boss

In conclusion, it would 
be wrong to draw a
hasty conclusion

       Talk amongst yourselves

You've Gotta Lot (Saturday Night improv.)

But what have you not is
wheels on your soles of your shoes
not shoes toes (and heels) like me
slaloming along the hallways and mallways
humming my songs stimming my hands
through your missing fingers

While wearing the glum smile of one who
who cannot operate the stop button
so just keeps yelling louder like
it was always meant to be this way
and not the victim of
invasive arthroplastic prosthetics
following a catastrophic escalation of
double or quit, truth or dare games

So now I'm rolling rolling veering
having trouble steering
crashing into pillars
staying clear of windows
there are no brakes is what I'm trying to say

On the plus side I'm taller
and faster, and am making some loot
as in raking it in
from the foot
fetishist
fraternity

Pie Crusts

Some days are for consolidation
some days are for transformation

You cannot hide your vestigial tail
your belly is pot
your jelly is hot
stumped cut off salamander trail

I am the secretary of my sensations
my magic is my weakness
you must invite me across your threshold

It's pretty uh hardcore
only four miles from your house
say it's semi mediaeval, but
great stuff for the launch pad, and
something about the bleakness, the
overbearing concrete structures

Some of the evenings may require consolation
some of those nights end in devastation

Lies are exotic, and the truth
the truth is pretty basic

The Explanatory Gap

The concept of "brain exhaust gas"
is not a scientifically recognized term
and yet here we are

Consciousness as a byproduct of entropy

Now, I don't know what that means
but it doesn't make it untrue

Water vapor, carbon dioxide, nitrogen

Make a song of it
shout about it with your voice
an exhaust gas in its own right
a reedy tenor, a monotonous drawl

        Interaction - Innovation
        Automatic control system!

Unpredictable patterns, meet
basic functions, team up and
see what happens

Chaotic activity, art and religion

Trace amounts of oxygen, carbon monoxide

Other key components:
        communication,
        play and the use of tools

There are five levels, one primal
two reactive three wilful
four intellectual and five intuitive

Try again, one distracted two dull
three partially focused four one-pointed
and five completely controlled

Keep going chief, you've got another
five choices - one full two minimal
three confused four vegetative
and five coma

        Interaction - Innovation
        Automatic control system!

But now I can reveal
levels six to ten which
anticipate, combine and perfect the
different systems, as revealed to me by

[[message terminated]]